1) first competition ever (even though it was only the intra-studio competition), and performing solo in front of hundreds of people at Avalon!
2) aerial deadlift achieved (special because I used to say I’d quit pole when I could do that)
3) more pole friends.. Hopefully someday they’ll be more than pole friends!
4) IPC 2013! Amazing and inspiring.
5) workshops with Marion Crampe and Marlo Fisken. Both wonderful teachers and pole stars, hope I’ll get to meet them someday again.
1) first full marathon ever in 5h8min (could have pushed self more instead of walking and appreciating the scenery, but it was a good and fun experience).
1) learning not to make m** the only thing my life revolves around, and to balance future career and responsibilities with a more well balanced life. I hope at the end of the day, results will encourage me that this is indeed possible, or I will have to go back to the days of mental and physically punishing myself by doing nothing but m**.
1) bird of paradise
2) twisted sister
3) dragon’s tail
4) anastasia split
5) Porsche’s split thing
I feel lousy.
People who remind me of my gym past are joining pole and while I don’t mind, it makes me feel sad and inadequate all over again. I’m left wondering why I can’t be amazing at what I love so badly.
"I could never be anorexic, I love food too much." No. Just no. I love food too, I have never once in my life disliked tasty food. I have an unhealthy relationship with food that makes me dislike the process of eating and my feelings after I eat. But I fucking love food, and I’m changing my relationship with food so I can love eating too. I just feel like people should understand this.